A Caring Touch: Massage Therapy

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Double Up

February is the month where people think about (or try not to think about) couples. Valentine's Day, cold snowy days cuddled up by a roaring fire, it is a month where people come together. Massage is also a way to bring people together - and no, in not the way many think (stop snickering).

Massage has gotten a bad rap as something usually associated with seedy sexual activity. While many ancient cultures did integrate some forms of massage into lovemaking and sexual acts as part of ceremonies, religion, or tradition, it really never developed the reputation as being something "disturbing" and "improper" until the Puritan Movement Spread through Europe and just about everything was considered "disturbing" and "improper". The thought of someone being in a state of undress while being touched over the whole body by another person - not always a spouse, was unheard of and denounced as being sinful, disgusting, and wrong. These views were echoed in part throughout the reigns of various monarchs who tried to keep a sense of peace and propriety throughout their kingdoms. But as with all things, the more someone restricts something, the more people do it anyway, and take it to extremes.

Approximately around the time of Queen Victoria in England, "Massage Parlors" began opening. International travel and influences was steadily becoming greater, so things seen as normal or proper in other countries, seemed exotic and interesting, and were usually adapted with little actual knowledge what it was all about to begin with. Massage used for medicinal or therapeutic purposes was seen as "get naked and have a girl rub you all over". So then began the underbelly of the massage world, which still exists strongly to this day.

Nevertheless, even though massage was once regarded as something too disturbing to be spoken of in polite society, eventually cooler minds prevailed and through research and greater understanding of other cultures, the good aspects of massage were eventually seen. The recent trend towards alternative medicines acted as a sort of "rebirth" of massage therapy (note the additional word) as a form of healing, not as something scandalous. Even then, as massage started to get its reputation back, it was still offered mainly in spas or exotic locations that required a small fortune to get a simple massage. With the influx of education more readily available to a greater number of people, has allowed massage therapy to become much more mainstream and accessible to more people.

Despite the rebirth of massage therapy as a legitimate, health-based resource, there is still a very common perception that massage is nothing more than a "way to quick gratification". This is such a popular perception, that I can't even begin to tell the number of television shows, sitcoms, and radio shows in which massage is ONLY portrayed as having a sexual purpose. I can honestly say that I have never seen or heard a single example of massage therapy on a mainstream television or radio show portrayed as a healing art - and even if one character portrays the health benefits, the other characters are joking about what is "really going on". So mainstream society and media seem to have very little respect for the massage therapy profession, which further spurs on the illicit side of massage. Unfortunately, this is what people see and hear, and people in today's society are extremely influenced by what they are exposed to, and so take what they see or hear as law. This will probably never change or go away, so all that legitimate healing massage therapists can do is strive to educate people that there is another side of massage, and it is a good side.

So even though massage can have a reputation as being something illicit, people can come together because of massage, and it can help couples in a non-sexual, more legitimate way. If one person in a couple is familiar with massage and it's benefits while their partner isn't, the misunderstanding can often be a sticking point of tension between the two, but if the unfamiliar person is educated and made aware of why the other feels it is important, it can open new doors of understanding int he relationship, and give the partners insight to one another. For example; when I first started considering the idea of entering the field of massage therapy, my husband was mildly against it, although he didn't voice it. He grew up in a "scalpel and prescription" family where anything involving alternative medicine was considered, "Hippie" or "New Age" and it didn't really work. They believed women who were rich only got massages in spas and men only received massages after dark in seedy motels. His perception changed after I had been in an accident and had been prescribed massage therapy for my injury. He gave me a massage at a local massage clinic as a gift and then decided he'd give it a try too to see what it was all about. The clinic was accommodating enough to allow us a "couple's massage" where both people get their massages in the same room, side by side. It allowed him to see that there was nothing illicit going on, after all, if there was - would they allow a man and his wife to be in the same room while it was taking place? After the massage, he admitted that his original perceptions were wrong, and that he now saw that massage was a really good thing. He also had realized that going into a profession like that required a person to have certain qualities about their character, and he hadn't realized that I had those qualities before that time, but now he understood why I wanted to go into that field. It also helped him understand why I was so involved and dedicated to other activities such as my teaching. It also gave me insight to him in that I saw that he wasn't a immobile rock, and that if given the chance and proper instruction, his views could be swayed and he was much more open and understanding than I had thought him to be. It helped both of us realize things about each other and in a small way improved a small piece of our relationship. Despite his new understanding of the field, he then was brought crashing back to reality when he announced my new career choice to a group of his friends to which they responded, "You're letting her do that???" So much for enlightenment.

So this just goes to show that while many people still think of massage as only something sexual, there are benefits for two people sharing the experience of massage therapy. Many therapists if they are able can accommodate a couple's massage which makes a wonderful gift, an opportunity in our stressed out world to spend a little quiet time with your significant other, or just a chance for both of you to unwind at the same time. Stress can cause many problems in a relationship, especially if one partner handles or gets rid of stress more easily than the other. Massage is a wonderful level playing field where both people can benefit and strengthen themselves - and there's nothing illicit about that.


Coming Next Time ..... Babies are People Too