Find Your "Away"

Ok, I'll admit it: I love going to the grocery store. Yes, people are cringing at the thought of this chore. It can be frustrating to find the time, make the list, deal with the cart with the funky wheel that doesn't roll straight, and then groan when the checkout total comes up. However, I like it, and actually look forward to it. Why?

When I go to the grocery store, I am on my own time. I can walk through the aisles without anyone talking at me, asking me to do things for them, or telling me what I should be doing. I also look at grocery shopping as a mental challenge - I love looking through the sales and coupons to see if I can maximize my savings. It also lets me unleash some of my creativity and imagination in that I can explore exotic ingredients and wonder what I can make with these foods for my family. (Although, those exotic ingredients usually go unpurchased because I have a family of picky eaters, but hey, I can still imagine!) Plus, when I do purchase food to bring home, it makes me feel good that I am providing for the needs of my family. It gives me a place where I can get away from my home life that isn't work and give me some head space, even if it is only for an hour or so.

One thing experts across the board say when it comes to personal health and well-being is to find some time for "you". Everyone needs to find a place to get away from their lives every so often. Some people have the luxury of being able to take girls' weekends, mini vacations, or date nights. Perhaps it is setting aside time to exercise, meditate, or read a book that is their time "away" from life. Others don't have the luxury of time, girlfriends, or a family that lets them have a moment of peace. So everyone's version of what it takes to get away from the everyday stress and take time for themselves is different. Some people need dead silence, some take the opportunity to do something they have always wanted to do. Some are happy to just have nothing happening around them. It is important for our physical and mental health to get away from the constant stimulus and routine we are bombarded with every day and just recover for a bit.

My preferred "away", but I'll take what I can get!

So the takeaway from this is basically - find your "away", whatever it is, and embrace it. Even if your "away" isn't traditional, everyone needs the time to get some space and stimulate parts of themselves that they end up suppressing because they are just getting through the day-week-semester, etc. Even though my personal "away" can still have the potential to be stressful (rushing through the store with limited time, the checkout line is long and slow, or that darn cart with the funky wheel), it is still my time that I look forward to, and I usually feel better when I leave because I know that as soon as I get home, my phone will be ringing, my kids will likely be fighting with each other, and my husband will have a list of stuff he needs me to deal with before I've even hung up my keys. Determine what allows you to get some space and make sure you allow yourself to get "away" regularly.

Massage Tips: How To Make a Hot Towel

As mentioned in the above video, a hot towel is a fast and easy way to get some moist heat relief for pain.

The article that was mentioned in the video was this one: Should I Use Heat or Ice On My Injury?

Here are the steps and details of the video:

What you need:
2 hand towels
Water
A microwave

Steps to make a hot towel:
1. Soak one hand towel in water and wrap it into a tight ball
2. Put the wet towel in a microwave for 60 seconds (1 minute)
3. Take your dry towel and lay it flat over your sore area
4. Take your hot towel and fold it into a manageable shape such as a rectangle
5. Lay the hot towel over the dry towel and wrap the edges of the dry towel around the wet one.
6. Let it sit until it loses it's heat, or you start to feel better. Usually around 20 minutes is the longest it retains it's heat.

So what is the dry towel for?
The dry towel is simply there to keep the hot towel from burning or causing any irritation on the skin. If you are putting the hot towel over a piece of clothing, you might be able to get away without the dry towel, however I'd personally still advise you to use the dry towel just to keep an extra layer of protection and not get your clothing wet.

Why is moist heat important?
Moist heat is recommended for heat healing because since our skin and muscles are porous, a water based heat is more readily absorbed so rather than simply heating up the surface of the skin, the heat gets deeper into the area and therefore is more effective with the heat doing it's job.

I hope this hot towel tutorial helps you out with your fast moist heat needs!

How Long Should My Massage Be?

One of the first things people notice when they are scheduling a massage is that unless they are looking for a very specialized service, there are usually options for different lengths of massages. So how long of a massage should you get or do you need? Everybody’s needs are different and every therapist has different goals/procedures for each length of appointment, so just to break things down, here is how I personally look at appointment lengths and the benefits of each.

15 Minutes: In my practice, this is the shortest appointment length that I offer. I almost exclusively use this time for chair massages which are simple massages focused on the back, neck, and shoulders that don't require the client to disrobe, so the whole time is used efficiently. I also use this length for infant massages because depending on why I’m working on the baby, forcing the baby to stay still for long periods of time can stress them out, so I keep the sessions short.

30 Minutes/Half Hour: Many people get massages of this length as an introduction to a therapist or to massage in general so they can gauge if it is something that will work for them. Likewise, I usually recommend this length to someone who has something specific like an injury or a chronic issue. 30 minutes gives the therapist the time to determine how the issue is doing, and time to do the work. While it is possible to work on multiple areas of the body in this short time, the more areas being worked on means the less time spent on each area, which still works for some people who just want a bit of quick relaxation without any heavy focused work on anything specific.

60 Minutes/One Hour: This is probably the most common appointment length I see. It is the standard time for a “full body massage” which includes massage on the hands and arms, neck, shoulders, feet and legs, plus the back of the body. You get the complete body worked on as well as having time to provide extra attention to any specific 'trouble' areas such as the shoulders, neck, feet, etc. Some people will also request a one hour appointment if they really have a problem area or injury that needs a lot of focused work so all the time can be focused on that issue.

90 Minutes/Hour and a Half: Sometimes an hour just isn’t enough time to get through everything that needs attention during a massage. Some people will request a 90 minute massage when they want to relax with a full body massage, but also know that they have specific issues that need more attention than can be addressed without lessening the work on another body part. Or sometimes people just want the extra time to treat themselves to some bonus relaxation and quiet time.

120 Minutes/2 Hours: I personally don’t do many of these but do occasionally, and many other therapists also offer it. Usually when a massage is this long it includes not only massage for the whole body, but can also include additional modalities such as stretching, energy work, hot stones, or a host of other things depending on the therapist. The therapist has lots of time to focus on everything from relaxation to addressing injuries, without any work being rushed. While it is possible for therapists to offer longer appointments, anything beyond this time can start to get taxing on the therapist. While we may seem to have super powers, we are human after all, and we do get tired!

What if I pick an appointment time that’s too short? Sometimes therapists will let you extend your appointment - meaning if you start with a half hour and realize you need more work, you can ask if you can extend to an hour. However this is 100% dependent on the policies of the therapist/company and the therapist’s schedule after your massage. Often if they have an opening after you they may be able to extend an appointment, but a therapist will likely never bump or delay another client just to extend an appointment. If a therapist can’t extend, they may work with you to schedule another appointment at the next earliest availability.

So the answer of which massage length is right for you completely depends on what you are looking for. If you want full-body relaxation, 60 minutes should do it. Just want regular work on those chronic knots in your shoulders? 30 minutes focused on the neck and shoulders should be fine. If you are ever in doubt, just ask your therapist what they recommend.

Giving in or Giving up? Who's Happiness is Most Important?

Several posts ago, I wrote about the window in my massage room. I had taken down the blinds to put a window film on because I hated the dark, stuffiness of the room and wanted the warm, natural light. It was an instant hit with the office staff and several of my regular clients also commented on how nice it was because the room stayed light and bright even on some of our very frequent cloudy and rainy days, so it was a welcome change. I even started jokingly calling it the “Vitamin D Room” because it was a chance to lay and get a relaxing massage in the sun.  Changing the window was pretty radical - not only because I took a risk in altering the room, but also because massage therapy rooms are traditionally very dark, so people can close their eyes and simulate the conditions that one would go to sleep. I kind of liked the total out-of-the-box change - which for me is soooooo not normal. 

Unfortunately, not everyone agreed with me. I started getting rather bad reviews from new clients (including one review absolutely tearing apart everything about my practice and warning people to never patronize me because of the “blaring light streaming in through the window”), and since the service industry lives and dies by reviews, I felt I had no choice but to cover up the window. 

On a personal level, I was disappointed in losing my light. I felt like my mood was much improved with the brighter room, and I looked forward to coming in to work more. I was also disappointed that more people weren’t receptive to my “radical” idea that a massage therapy room could be bright and relaxing and my massage therapy skills outweighed the physical appearance of the room. However, on a professional level, it was a wake-up call and reminder that my personal preferences don’t really matter - what matters is the comfort of my clients. 

One thing I am noticing throughout our world right now is that everywhere - be it in running a business, patronizing a business, working for a business, interacting with people, schools, etc. - we tend to strongly push the agenda of what WE, personally want and expect, no matter how it effects others. 

I recently read a book by the Dalai Lama, and one thing that stuck out at me was his statements that every human, no matter what race, class, or socioeconomic level has but one desire - and that is to be happy. Whether for each individual happiness means wealth, peace, health, or a combination of a bunch of things, everybody wants the same thing.  Everyone wants to be happy and content, and when a person’s individual wants and needs are met, we are happy. So if that is what we want, who are we to deny that to another human being who wants the same thing? In the process of focusing on ourselves and what we want, we can’t be blind to the option that our desires could have a detriment to anything else. Or should we operate and go through life only focusing on ourselves?  

Many people do subscribe to the thought process that ‘whatever I want is the correct thing, and to hell with whatever anyone else wants’. Others are totally on the other side of the scale in that ‘my needs don’t matter at all, doing whatever everyone else wants makes me happy’. So how can you find that happy medium? How can you do what you want and what makes you happy without being a total doormat? I think that one way to find the middle ground is to look at the situation this way: What ultimately (not on the surface level) will bring me happiness and will my happiness cause any detriment to the desire of another person? 

As a business owner, those reviews brought me back to this. Even though my occupational category is in the “health care” field, ultimately I am in the service industry. My personal preferences can't take precedence over the preferences of the people I serve. If I expect them to come to me for their goals of health and relaxation, how can I accomplish those goals if they are uncomfortable? Some may call me a pushover for covering up my window - that I gave in to a bad review. However, I am preferring to look at that bad review as a window into the insight of my clients. I may not agree, but the greater good says that my preference might not be the best for the expectations of my clientele, and making my clients happy ultimately is what will make me happy. 

But just because I have decided to put my clientele’s needs above my own personal desires, doesn’t mean I have to totally give in to something I don’t want. In making a new curtain for the window, I used a fabric that cuts the light level while still not making it so dark that it looks like a cave, instead the room now has a cool blue glow. Will this work? Will my reviews change from here out? Maybe, and maybe not. Will my clients that liked the light be disappointed? Maybe, and maybe not. Will covering my window keep me from getting bad reviews? Absolutely not - you can’t please everyone, no matter how hard you try to provide excellent and professional service, there will still be things that pop up about the room that I have little to no control over. There will be mistakes made in the future, and I will always make decisions that not 100% of people agree with, but that is part of being human and a rant for another time. I feel like in this case I have found a compromise, so I don’t see it as giving up. So if we all subscribed to the thought that we know what we want and it is ok to go after what we want, but also consider how what we want affects not only another person but the overall greater good, how much different would this world be?

How Often Should I Get A Massage?

We all know that massage is good for us. It benefits both our mental health by relieving stress and giving us a sense of calm, as well as helping any pain or physical issues we may have. One question I am frequently asked is, "How often should I get a massage?" I often hesitate with this response because it isn't a standard one-size-fits-all answer. The frequency that you should receive massage depends on a few different factors.

Firstly, why are you getting the massage? Is it for stress relief? Maintaining your overall health and keeping everything working? Keeping away a recently healed injury? If the massage is more for maintenance or not geared toward a specific goal, most people find that one massage every 4-6 weeks is a good time span to go between massages before your body starts to feel too crunchy and angry with itself. The goal of these massages are usually more relaxing and maybe taking care of a few "trouble spots" but overall just a calm, quiet time for you to take care of yourself.

If you have an injury or something chronic like 'that thing in your neck that hurts every time you turn your head but you've learned to live with it', you may need massage a little more frequently - at least at first. In the case of helping to repair an injury, I generally recommend a little more intense of a schedule such as 2-3 massages during the first week or two, then we "wean" off the massages with more time between each session such as one a week for 3 weeks, then once every 2 weeks, etc - adding or subtracting as needed, until the issue is resolved. The reason for the more intense schedule is because the goal of this massage is to help the body heal and almost "reprogram" itself and not fall back into it's injured state, then as healing happens, the muscles re-learn what is "right" and the massage goals become more maintenance and less repair.

Now there are always special situations don't fit into this mold. For example, I leave the recommendations for prenatal massages up to the client because although, with the constant changes in the body, massage every week would be fabulous, but sometimes that isn't practical. A mom-to-be may want to schedule appointments around her doctor's visits, or she has child care for other children that she needs to coordinate, or perhaps her doctor recommends a different frequency. So in situations like this, I make recommendations, but leave it flexible and up to the client's preferences.

Other small things in life can also dictate how frequently one can or is able to receive a massage. Some people like to coordinate massages with other doctor's appointments such as physical therapy or chiropractic adjustments. Other times, people have issues with distance to travel or work schedules, and finally some have financial considerations that may influence how frequently they receive a massage. These considerations must also come into play when deciding when to come back for your next massage.

Sure, as a business owner who makes a living off of performing massages, it would be easy for me to tell people that they need to come in for massage at least once a week every week, but as a humane human being who is supposed to be looking out for the health and well-being of my clients, there is no one "best" answer as to how frequently they should get a massage. This is another reason why it is important to have a comfortable and confident relationship between therapist and client. They should be able to work together to determine the best frequency and schedule for the massage routine that works best for you.

You Can't Massage A Pregnant Woman's Feet - Myth or Fact?

I was recently watching an evening tv drama in which a character and his pregnant wife were in a class and the instructor said, "Time for foot massages! Now who can remember what part of the feet we completely avoid?" To which the character (a doctor) replies "The ankles". This reminded me how often I hear things like this in regards to massaging pregnant women's feet. It was nice that the show actually mentioned that foot massage is ok while pregnant, however it stated to "completely avoid" the ankles without any explanation as to why.

Not massaging a pregnant woman's feet is one of the more commonly heard "tips" when it comes to prenatal massage. Many pregnancy books and sites claim that foot massage can cause lots of problems, most commonly that it send a woman into early labor, so it is best to completely avoid it. Some statements are a little more lenient (like the tv show I was watching) and say that foot massage is ok, but with certain limitations. So what is the truth? The fact is that, like many things, somewhere there was a small grain of a fact and over time it bloomed into something that became a full-blown myth, urban legend, whatever you want to call it. So how exactly did this myth come to be?

Myth origin #1: I've mentioned this in a previous article, but one culprit here are two widely heard of, but often misunderstood, massage modalities known as acupressure and reflexology. In these types of massage, pressure is applied to a specific point on the body (acupressure) and in the feet (reflexology), and depending on where certain points are located, the points can have an effect on certain parts of the body. The fear comes that if certain reflexology points are touched, it can cause labor to start.
Facts: While acupressure and reflexology can have an effect on certain parts of the body, very specific things need to happen. In acupressure, static pressure needs to be applied directly to the specific point and held for 3-5 seconds. Not something you generally see in a gentle massage where the strokes generally keep moving. As far as reflexology goes, there are points located on either side of the heel that relate to the ovaries and uterus, as well as the fallopian tubes arching over the foot. Not exactly located in the ankles, but loosely in that general area, hence the source for the advice to avoid it. Once again though, just a gentle massage over this area is not reflexology per se, only if you specifically target this area with direct and sustained pressure. Another reason "ankles" may be lumped into this is because there is one specific acupressure point higher up on the outside of the lower leg (about 3 finger widths up from the ankle bone) that has, in some studies, had a small effect of making contractions stronger once labor has already started, but no actual proof that pressing on that point can trigger or start labor. Basically, acupressure and reflexology can't be done by accident; they are very focused and purposeful types of massage that you can't "trigger" unknowingly, so no gentle, normal types of massage done for foot relief should create any problems.


Myth origin #2: Another direction that I've heard this myth come from was not actually from the massage world. Originally, there was concern about cheap or low-end manicure and pedicure salons who didn't clean their tools correctly, which left the opportunity for women to get infections in their cuticles from the poorly sanitized instruments. Infections during pregnancy are always a concern, so women were encouraged to stay away from cheap nail salons - which, like the old game of telephone, turned into "stay away from all nail salons" -> "Don't get manicures or pedicures while pregnant" -> and finally, (since some salons include a foot or leg massage with their pedicures) -> "Don't get massages on your feet or legs while pregnant". So you can see how something with a small, good intention, can spiral into something much more vague and universal.

Side fact: In all the talk about massaging feet, many times the phrase "and legs" gets lumped in there as well. This one gets a little trickier, because there are some small legitimate concerns about massaging legs during pregnancy. The fact is that due to the increase in a woman's blood volume during pregnancy, and thanks to gravity, a woman's legs can get much more tired, swollen, and heavy while pregnant. Massage can help immensely with these issues, however with this increased blood volume, there is a slim chance that a woman can develop issues such as blood clots in her legs or certain kinds of swelling or edema that a doctor needs to monitor. This does not mean that leg massage is completely off limits, it is just better if any lower extremity massage is done very lightly, or done by a professional who is trained to know what to do and what to look for so that the massage can be done safely. Nevertheless, just because the possibility of concern may be there, if the doctor says everything is fine, the instances of an actual problem can be very slim, so once again, even though there is a small grain of truth in there, it doesn't mean that massage as a whole needs to be avoided when, in the right hands, it can actually be very helpful.

Overall, every pregnant mother does need to be careful about what she does to her body. Despite the plethora of information at our fingertips, with that also comes a plethora of mis-information. If a woman is concerned about whether something heard or read is fact or a myth, she should always ask her doctor. The doctor will give straight information, and even be able to specifically check for any conditions that may make a massage unadvisable. A massage therapist who is specialized prenatal massage should be able to clear up the difference between myths and facts and explain to you why. There is nothing wrong with hearing a myth and striving to be careful, however the best way to be careful is to know the facts behind the myth so that the myth doesn't steer you away from something that might actually be helpful.

Massage For a Sinus Headache

One day last year I woke up with a nasty sinus headache. Before reaching for my bottle of decongestants, I decided to try and massage out the pressure first. Then I flipped on the tv and saw a news report about the opioid crisis and a theory about one reason it is so bad is because people get over-prescribed medications. So I sat down and while I was massaging out my sinuses, I recorded a video about how I was doing it, so that perhaps I could help someone else stay away from their bottle of decongestants. I know that massaging away one sinus headache isn't going to make that much of a difference in the grand scale of things, but personally, any time I can fix my pain without something I have to swallow is preferable for me!

P.S. I hate how I look and sound in video and this was a BIG leap out of my comfort zone, so if you watch it, enjoy and please be nice!

The most memorable thing about having a newborn

Many of my prenatal clients are understandably nervous not only about their upcoming labor and delivery, but also what happens after the baby arrives - as far as what to expect and how a newborn will impact their daily life.  This happened to me with both of my newborns, and has happened to so many other people I know who have newborns, I had to make it pretty, and now I do give this advice to my moms-to-be as a humorous warning that though you will be suffering from many sleep-deprived nights, one glorious night will come where you sleep completely through - and what happens immediately after that. It will come, so be prepared.

Why Do I Have To Do Paperwork Before My Massage?

If you go in for a massage, chances are that you will be asked to provide some personal information before the massage begins, and that is usually done by filling out paperwork. Every massage therapist and company is different, and your overall experience with paperwork will be different, but why do we make you fill out that paperwork in the first place?

We know you come in for a massage to relax and escape from the everyday, and filling out paperwork is not something you do for fun. So why do we make you do it? Well, it is for your good as much as ours.

Every therapist is different and prefers/needs different types of information. I actually have different forms with different information for specific types of massages (prenatal vs. regular, etc), but overall, they serve the same purpose. Personally, in my practice, for a new client, I have two pieces of paper that are handed to the client before a massage. The first page is basic information including medical history such as allergies, surgeries, chronic issues, etc. Why does this matter? The short answer is that we don’t want to make anything worse. We need to know allergies so that we don’t use a lotion or oil with an ingredient that will give you a reaction. If you have had any surgeries or other chronic issues, we want to know so that we don’t pull or stretch or work on anything that had previously been repaired. While some surgeries leave an obvious scar such as a knee replacement, others like plates in your neck may not be as easy to see, so we have to adapt our technique accordingly. My second page of paperwork is given at every visit, even if the client sees me every week/month/etc. This page asks the client to specify what specifically brought them in for massage that day, and what they want me to be focusing on or avoiding, as well as any immediate changes in health.

Now every therapist is different, and some may never give you a shred of paper, but may ask you questions, to which they may go and write the info down themselves. Some therapists may not ask you a single thing about your medical history, but I’ve never known a legit massage therapist who doesn’t at least ask about allergies. Also, you don’t need to worry about what information you put on that paperwork. As health care professionals, massage therapists are bound by the same HIPPA laws as your doctor, so we can not share any information with anyone without written consent from you.

In my own experience, I’ve had a range of emotions from my clients about paperwork when they come in for massage. Some just go through the routine without questioning anything, some outright complain about “having to fill out that thing again”, and some have fun with it - I once had a regular older male client check the box marked “pregnant” and then admitted with a laugh that he just wanted to see if I was actually paying attention to the paperwork.

So as much as all of us hate dealing with paperwork, it can be considered a 'necessary evil'. Records need to be kept because massage does deal with a human being’s health, so to help us provide the best care, we need to keep everything in writing. With the digital age, there are many paperless and digital options coming into common practice, but it will still involve you answering questions in some form. Nevertheless be assured that we hate paperwork as much as you do, and we hate giving it to you as much as you hate filling it out, but overall, it is there for the best.

To Tip or Not To Tip Your Massage Therapist?

I recently had a client come in for a massage who admitted that she hasn’t really had many massages before. She asked “Is this like a haircut where there is one price listed and then I’m expected to pay a tip on top of that price?” It was an interesting way to put it, but I do get asked this question frequently by clients. Tipping is often something that many people aren’t sure what exactly the protocol is when it comes to massage because massage exists in so many different forms and is used for so many different reasons. 

According to Wikipedia, “A gratuity (also called a tip) is a sum of money customarily given by a client or customer to a service worker in addition to the basic price.“  Many times when we hear the term ”service worker” or “service industry” we immediately think of restaurant servers, taxi/Uber drivers, or hairdressers. We tend to view massage therapists in mainly one of two ways: spa employees or health care professionals. This creates an odd divide for individuals who do relatively the same thing. You usually wouldn’t think twice about tipping your hairdresser (service industry) but would never dream of tipping your doctor (health care industry). But ultimately, massage therapists can fall into both categories. They provide a service to individuals, so they qualify as members of the service industry, however they are also responsible for improving your health, so they are also members of the health care industry. 

Two big things also help make tipping confusion stronger; Environment and purpose. If someone is an employee in a spa, it seems like a no-brainer that, like a hairdresser, you give them a tip. However, if someone providing the same service in a doctor’s office, tipping may not seem as natural. Likewise, the purpose or reasons a person receives a massage can change the perspective as well. Some people get massage purely as a relaxing treat, while others get massage for therapeutic or medical reasons. This can change their perspectives on if a tip is warranted. This is probably the reason I get this question. I work out of a chiropractors office, but I am self employed and my rate doesn’t include gratuity built in. Plus, I may be in a health care setting, but, (at least in the state of Pennsylvania) every massage therapist, even those that work exclusively in a spa setting, has to have a license to practice just like medical professionals.

So I guess this whole article is a very long-winded roundabout of a very simple question and answer: should you tip your massage therapist? The answer that I give to anyone who asks me is: A gratuity is never required, however it is always appreciated.  Bottom line, massage therapists are members of the service industry. They provide you a service - making you feel good. They also are members of the health care field - so it is their job to make your health and well-being a priority. If you choose to and you feel it is appropriate to tip your therapist (unless their employer or organization specifically forbids it), it is never required but always appreciated. There is no right or wrong answer, it is all in how you view your therapist and the care that you get from them. 

Should You Talk or Not Talk During Your Massage?

Massages are supposed to be a relaxing experience. But does relaxing mean the same thing to everyone? Case in point; one question that I frequently get asked: "Should you talk or be completely silent during a massage?" Well, like many areas of massage, there really isn't one answer because everyone is different, and their needs as well as reasons for coming to massage are different.

One side of the argument says that you should be relaxing during a massage, so that means be quiet, listen to calm, quiet music, and just mentally let yourself enjoy the quiet to allow yourself to relax. The other side of the argument says some friendly banter allows the person receiving the massage to ask questions and get educated about things going on with their body, and can also be a form of relaxation therapy in itself by allowing the client to expend any pent up energy, frustrations, or just basically having someone to talk to.

Sometimes the technique itself can work better if there is talking versus no talking. Cranial Sacral or Myofascial work is more effective when the therapist can quietly concentrate on the sensitive and intricate things they are working on, while something like stretching or deep tissue work might require communication between therapist and client to make sure that the modality is working and not too much, as well as some conversation about what caused the issue in the first place.

I have seen forums and routine questions throughout the massage industry about what other therapists think of this topic. I've seen answers that range from therapists who find it fine to be sociable and chatty, while others state that they prefer to work in silence and have gone as far as to gently tell chatty clients to be silent 'for their own relaxation benefits'.  There are also factors such as the environment or the rapport of the staff that can influence whether talking is discouraged or encouraged during a massage.

Personally, as a therapist, I believe that it is ultimately up to my client - the person receiving the massage. After all, they are the ones coming to me for relief, healing, relaxation, or whatever their reason. I should allow them to achieve their goals however they need to. Some people do want the silent, quiet relaxation, and it can be a calming, almost meditative session that lets them fall asleep and me to put extreme focus on what I'm doing. Other times, people will ask questions, vent frustrations, relate plans they are excited about, etc. I used to wonder how they were able to relax while being so chatty, but I realized that perhaps they don't have anyone else to talk to so they need an outlet to vent or just enjoy speaking to another adult before they can unwind. In these cases, the talking is therapeutic and relaxing in itself, so I don't discourage it. I do, however, strive to let them lead the conversation or lack of it. The only time I usually try to initiate conversation is when I'm either asking about conditions, giving instructions, or reassuring a fear or concern. I work with many Prenatal clients, and many first-time moms can get concerned with all the strange things that are happening to their bodies, so sometimes I need to reassure them and will sometimes tell them about my own experiences in the same situation to help put their minds at ease and give them a chance to relax.

That being said, I do believe the answer of "to talk or not to talk" is up to the person receiving the massage, and what their goals of receiving the massage are. Sometimes quiet silence is needed and wanted, and sometimes chatting, venting, or letting off steam is just as important to their relaxation and healing. If my client wants to talk, I'll talk, but if they want to be quiet and go to sleep, I'm not going to engage them in deep conversation. I'm there to provide my clients with what they want and need, and everyone's wants and needs are different but no less right or wrong.

Self Care: You Have Permission To Stop.

Last week was what I call "Hell Week". Hell Week is simply the week that leads up to something big, in this case, the Special Holiday Performance at CPDW, the dance studio where I teach.  Hell Week is usually filled with a heavy mix of rushing to finish costume construction for all my students, keeping parents informed and reinforced on the weekend's schedule, coordinating who needs to be where, preparing to spend 48 hours locked in a theatre, and worry that the performance will go off without any problems. Add on top of that dealing with every day issues such as family, kids that still need to get to everything, husband's work needs, the approaching holidays, and oh yeah, my regular job. It is a week where I live off of daily lists of schedules to keep my brain straight, don't sleep well due to stress,  and drink a LOT of wine. (Yet, when it is all over, I gleefully look forward to preparing for the next one. Go figure.)

So one day last week, I did something very strange for me to do during one of the busiest weeks of the year - I went back to sleep. This week usually includes lots of late nights dealing with work and costumes that can't get done until the kids go to bed. That morning, oldest child had to be up half an hour earlier than usual, so after getting her sent off successfully, and after youngest child was securely sent off on the school bus, I went back to bed and slept for about 2 1/2 hours. After waking up, I felt amazing. My list was still there, and I was rapidly running out of time to get stuff done, but I felt so good, I didn't care. Usually when something comes up that sucks 2 1/2 hours out of the busiest week of the year, it doubles my stress, but when I woke up, I felt great - and realized that it was ok that I felt like that.

Also that week, I made a conscious decision not to ride our new exercise bike. Seems silly, but at the beginning of December, I realized that if I kept up with riding through the month, I could hit a milestone 200 rides by Christmas*. I had riding on my daily list of things to do this week, but early on, I realized that riding would stress me out too much if I either tried to squeeze it in, or if I skipped and left the unfinished checkmark on my list. So I flat out decided not to ride at all this week. And I felt good about that. Not about not exercising, but that allowed myself to remove something from my schedule without feeling guilty about it.

I haven't felt so unstressed about decisions in a long time. It has made me realize that stopping is a good thing. It is not easy. I'm the go-go-go type that always has so much going on, I never rest. Despite all the studies and research that say "take time for yourself", "calm your mind for a bit", "it's better for your overall well-being",  how often do we really do that? I know I don't. And if I do, I usually feel guilty about it because I'm not go-go-going, and that is what everyone expects of me, including what I expect of myself. So this Hell Week, I finally gave myself permission to stop.

Why has this concept escaped me for so long? Fear and guilt are the two things that spring to mind immediately. Fear that I won't get everything done, and guilt that I'm not working hard enough to to get everything done. However, looking back at the week - I did get the costumes done in plenty of time. (Enough time to actually repair a bunch when the first design failed). All the kids got where they needed to be, and the world kept turning. And I actually felt physically and mentally good about it. Maybe I really just did need the sleep. After Hell Week wraps up, I generally get sick - maybe my body saw this as an opportunity to ward off the inevitable illness that will hit me sometime in the next 2 weeks (So far, so good - knock on wood).

So from here on out - one of the reasons I'm writing this is to remind myself, come next Hell Week, or whenever, it is ok to stop and take time for myself. And for you - if you need to hear it, You have permission to stop. Whether it is a nap, a detour to a few quiet minutes at your favorite coffee shop, or a weather-permitting walk outside. No fear - it will get done. No guilt - you are not doing yourself any favors by destroying yourself. Nobody will think less of you. Take a little time for yourself because it is ok to stop.

*Update: one day later than planned, but I did it!

Holes Are For Donuts, Not Massage Tables

Every so often, I get a new prenatal massage client who takes their first look at my massage table, then they say, “Oh, I thought you had one of those tables with a hole in it”.

Yes, such a thing exists. There are some massage tables that have a hole or some other indentation cut into them to allow extra room for a belly and/or breasts to extend beyond the flat edge of the table when lying face down. You might look at this and say “Great! Perfect for prenatal massages! Who needs their back worked on more than pregnant women?” And when I first started in massage school, I agreed. - I even started saving up for one of those tables. Then I got some real training.

Every massage therapist should come out of massage school with a basic knowledge of how to do a prenatal massage without hurting the mother or baby. However, there is a difference between a basic education and a specialist with advanced training. One of the first things I learned when pursuing my over 80 hours of advanced prenatal and infant massage certifications was that those table holes are not only not recommended, they can actually cause more harm than good.

How? Well, the human body is not stupid. Since we learned to walk upright, our bodies have learned to adapt to the forces around us, including gravity. The laws of gravity say that a heavy object will pull straight down to the center of the earth. When a pregnant woman’s belly begins to grow, there are muscles under and around the belly, particularly one known as the broad ligament, that knows to grow not only out, but also slightly down, working with gravity to support the growing belly. Now take that belly that is growing out and down, and pivot it 90 degrees as if the woman is laying flat on her stomach. The contents of that belly aren't a solid mass - things move in there, so when the stomach is then put at an angle to be affected by gravity, that heavy belly will be pulled straight down and the ligament that is designed to grow out and down, is now being pulled straight out and up. This can cause a strain on that ligament and ultimately more pain in the belly, hips, and low back.

The second reason this type of table is discouraged is because those holes are a universal size, shape, and location. Pregnant women are not a universal size or shape. The chances that that hole is going to properly fit every pregnant woman are slim to none, so how exactly is squeezing yourself into a hole not made to fit you comfortable (or safe)?

These reasons are why I use a side-lying position with specially designed pillows, bolsters, and wedges that allow a woman to relax in a more natural position with everything properly supported without adding any extra strain to anything. I can still get to the back, shoulders, and every body part that needs work without causing the already tense and strained muscles any more problems.

So why do those tables exist if they cause so many problems? Well, the purpose they were designed for is to allow people with that basic training to work on pregnant clients without having to alter their routines or work with a very limited knowledge of how to do a proper prenatal massage. They are especially found in spas where the therapists are instructed to do massages a certain way within a certain time frame, so the tables allow things to stay “as is” without having to add time to the massages, or provide the need for extra equipment or therapists with special additional skills. They are basically an excuse for therapists who don't have advanced skills to charge more for a "specialty service" without having the skills to back them up. Will those tables cause problems for every pregnant woman? Probably not. However, for something so specialized as a pregnancy massage, do you really want to take a chance? You probably should want to look into a therapist that has the skills and training to do the massage correctly, not what is easiest.

Think of those tables like iPhoto. iPhoto allows you to do some very basic editing of pictures, take away red eye, blemishes, crop, etc. They can take a so-so photo and make it ok and it is a fabulous tool for that. But if you are getting married, and need a professional photographer, what would you think if they only used a cell phone and iPhoto for your wedding pictures? You would probably prefer to hire a photographer that had a real camera, multiple lenses, and used photo editing software that would make the average person’s head spin. Prenatal Massage is the same. You could see a therapist that has a tool to make the job 'easy', or you hire a professional who knows what they are doing in depth and the end results between the two will be very different. There is a difference between “giving a pregnant woman a massage” and “Providing a prenatal massage for a pregnant client”. The difference lies in the skills and training of the therapist as well as the tools used. Leave the holes to donuts.

Side note - I know that there are alternatives to both side-lying positions and table holes such as body-positioning systems and so called “Preggo Pillows” both of these solutions claim to also allow pregnant women to lay face down, but also provide more customized and more moveable support to prevent the strain and other issues I’ve spoken about above. There isn’t as much research on them, however this is where I use personal common sense. When a pregnant woman is laying face down, even with support, she is laying ON her baby - with her whole body weight. Even with support, add in the pressure of the massage on her back, and it can’t seem good for the baby - or comfortable for the mom. However, I know therapists and women who have sworn that these systems are fabulous so I can’t condemn them the way I do table holes, but looking at simple physics and having been pregnant myself and knowing how it feels to 'roll over' on the baby, I personally would never recommend those systems.

Prenatal massage can help the pain that comes with being pregnant - a lot. But just like everything else in the world, products are created to monetize and capitalize on solving problems without actually needing the skills to solve the problem. The health care world is no different. So before you schedule your next appointment in massage - or anything else relating to your health for that mater, don't get blinded by what fancy or trendy tools will be used, but do your homework then decide for yourself if something that looks trendy is the best thing for your health and comfort.

Don't believe me? Here is more info to back me up:
http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/prenatal-massage/
https://www.massagemag.com/pregnancy-massage-tables-think-before-you-buy-13458/
http://www.turningtidesmidwifery.com/blog/pregnancy-massage-tables-versus-positioning

What Do We Have To Be Afraid Of?

I am a chronic procrastinator. I've done it since I was a kid. If I had a project or report that was due in a month, I'd be pulling an all-nighter to start it. My procrastination has spilled over into adulthood. Loading the dishwasher - doesn't happen until the tower of dishes in the sink is unbearable. Usually I always have an excuse such as "I'm too busy", "This isn't a priority right now", etc. Sometimes things I procrastinate on cause me to be annoyed, and other things have caused me major anxiety. So recently I've been taking a look at my procrastination to get to the root of why I do it so much. I've discovered I have poor time management skills and I'm a little lazy. I also shut down when I get frustrated, hoping that my defiance will fix the situation which never works. But I have discovered that a small part of my procrastination stems from an odd sense of fear.

I have a window in my massage room that faces the parking lot. I decided that I wanted to remove the blinds and put decorative contact paper on the window to allow more natural light through but keep the window not see-through so I purchased the window film - 5-6 years ago. Then it sat in my closet. Every so often I'd look at it and say "I really should do that project", but always found a reason not to - I didn't have time, I didn't have the right tools, cutting/measuring supplies, etc. Always had a reason.

Finally, the window had enough of my procrastination. I was pulling up the blinds and heard a 'CRACK' before the whole thing fell on my head. The blinds were unsalvageable, so I decided this was finally my opportunity to end the procrastination. As usual, I found excuses to not come in the next day - or the day after that. Suddenly, a new client scheduled a last-minute appointment. Now I was out of excuses and out of time. So I packed up every supply I could think of and went in early to fix the window. Turns out the project went really easily, took almost no time, and ended up looking amazing. The whole staff complimented the result and has been raving about how good it looks since then. Now I look at the window and think "What took me so long?"

So I started thinking about it. I decided that the big thing that was holding me back from doing the project was fear. I was afraid that: 1. I overestimated my skill level in being able to do it so I wouldn't be able to do it right, 2. The end result wouldn't look good and the building owner would be mad at me, or 3. My clients wouldn't like it. I was afraid of failing at the end result so I chose not to pursue it. But did I really have a reason to fear it? Would it have been the end of the world if the window treatment hadn't worked out? I could have found an alternative. I'm good at finding unconventional solutions, so why did I let something so simple stop me? I started thinking about other places that I procrastinate and realized that fear is a big driver. I will put off scheduling meetings because I am afraid I will say something wrong and make a fool of myself. I put off tasks that could potentially cause a conflict. Dishwasher - that's just laziness - I can't blame fear on everything. But why do I have these fears? Is it my personality? Do I have some sort of chemical imbalance? Is it that people have repeatedly told me throughout my life that I will most likely fail and I don't want to prove them right? Why am I afraid of seemingly small and trivial things?

I guess scientists have been studying fear forever and why people are afraid of things, so it is no answer that I can give. The only thing I can do is train myself to recognize when I am using fear as an excuse and try to make myself answer - is this something that really needs to be feared? Is this fear justified? Will there be real consequences if my fear comes true?

How different would our lives be if we didn't let stupid, unfounded fears stop us? The fear doesn't always show up as fear - it can show up and hide itself as lots of different things, so how do we know that our excuses are or aren't fear? Fear is so often portrayed as a weakness, I think people don't want to admit that they can be capable of being afraid. For me, I'm trying to start recognizing this pointless type of fear when I make excuses and trying to ask myself "why am I afraid of this" and "Seriously, what is the worst that can happen, and is that really so bad?" If I start to do this with my routine fears, I wonder if I'll be able to let this spill over into bigger things, and who knows where that can lead?

Will a Prenatal Massage Send Me Into Labor?

Massage therapy has many incredible benefits, especially during pregnancy. However I have had pregnant women tell me is that they are in pain, their backs and muscles ache, but they won't get a massage because they don't want to go into labor. There are a lot of myths and old wives tales about how massage can affect the body. Some are based in fact, some are nothing more than urban legends.

So where does this come from? Several places, actually. One of the most common thoughts is based on the concept of accupressure - a generalized term for types of massage that utilize pressure on certain points in the body and that pressure makes things happen in other parts of the body. The fear comes from the thought if any of these points are touched on a pregnant woman during a massage, the body will immediately try to "eject" the baby. This simply is not true. First of all, the points used in acupressure are not that sensitive. In order to do any type of pressure or point work, pressure must be put on the point and held for 3-5 seconds. A simple massage will not make that happen.

This does not mean that acupressure has absolutely no effect on the body. There are a few points that, when pressed at the proper times, may be able to help labor progress and help strengthen contractions, but it can't initiate anything. (I am speaking on this not just from research, but from personal experience: my oldest daughter was 2 weeks late and I was looking at an induction so I spent the whole weekend before that rubbing and putting so much pressure on every point that was supposed to "send me into labor" that I had black and blue marks. Did it work? Not in the slightest.)

Now you may know someone who has had the experience of "she got a massage and that night she went into labor." Well, that may be partly true, but mostly a coincidence. The answer behind this phenomenon is a little less tangible. What happens in this case is that the massage is most likely not what "started" the labor. Instead what the massage did was relax the body and take away some of the physical and mental stresses that the body was under. The human body doesn't like to do anything, especially anything new or big, when it is under a lot of stress, so when the body relaxes and the stress goes away, it allows the hormones and nerves to act like a signal to the body that says  "Ok, everything is good - go ahead with starting that big thing you need to do." So it wasn't the massage that started the labor, the massage relaxed the body enough that labor was able to start.

Having said all of that, I have in my studies met people who claimed that were certified in something called “Induction Massage”. I have tried to look up information on this, but personally I have yet to find anything about this as a technique or a modality taught in a school. I also asked an advanced prenatal massage instructor about it and she had not heard of it either. So I’m not saying that it is completely impossible for there to be a type of massage that can send someone into labor, but as a disclaimer, I have not been able to find any specific information about this particular certification.

There is never anything wrong with a pregnant mother wanting to be super careful about what happens to her body, and going into labor early is way up there in the top “pregnancy fears” for every mom. But the benefits of a nice, relaxing prenatal massage can far outweigh the fear that it will trigger labor. The best way for a mom-to-be to protect herself is to make sure that any prenatal issues or conditions that may have discussed with her doctor are disclosed to the therapist before the massage, and to make sure she is seeing a therapist who is a Certified Prenatal Massage Therapist, not just one who “can do prenatal massage”.  When in doubt - ask the doctor both if massage is safe for this particular pregnancy, and if he/she can give a referral to a properly trained therapist.

"Don't your hands get tired?"

One of the questions I get asked most frequently as a massage therapist is "how do you do massages all day and not have your hands get tired?" Well, I never really thought about it until recently. I was in hour 4 of a marathon 8-hour corporate massage day and the I-lost-count-ith person asked me this question. My usual response to this question is "proper training" and a joke then the question usually dies there. But what exactly is it about this proper training that lets me keep using my hands for so many hours at a time without getting tired? There are a few factors involved:

1. Muscles - the right ones
The 'proper training' I refer to means that in learning how to do the actual massage strokes and techniques I use, I have also learned the proper way to do those strokes and techniques. I've learned how to properly hold my hands, move my arms, how to apply pressure by using the right muscle groups and positions. You know how when you ask someone like your spouse to rub your shoulders and they squeeze for a few seconds then complain their hands hurt? That's because they are probably just using their fingers and top parts of the hands instead of the whole palm and forearm muscles - the fingers have smaller muscles than the palm of the hand, so they get tired more quickly. Learning how to use the proper larger muscles to do the work instead of the smaller hand muscles demonstrates how proper training in how to do things rather than trying to replicate what it looks like to do things can really make a difference.

2. Things aren't always as they seem

So hands aren't the only thing I actually use to do a massage. Yes, look at any massage video and it appears that hands are the only things being used, however in addition to using my hands, I also use something that can't be seen - gravity and my body weight. I use my hands to a point, but I also use what is called "Proper body mechanics" to press harder and apply deeper pressure without using my actual muscles and therefore not tiring myself out. Yet another benefit of proper training.

3. I have a past...
One thing in my past gives me an advantage to not getting tired doing massages that has nothing to do with proper training. I used to be a professional dancer, which although many people think isn't a big deal, as far as body conditioning and endurance goes, I qualified as an elite-level athlete. I was used to beating my body up with cardio and strength challenges for 12+ hours a day, so standing and using significantly less muscles for multiple hours is not a big deal because instinctively my body is used to a lot more.

4. Proper self care
After many years of beating myself up, massage may be "easy" on my body, but it isn't all easy. I'm significantly older and heavier than I was when I was dancing, plus even though I still teach dance, I am nowhere near keeping up with the cardio work that I used to do, so  I have to rely on other things to keep myself functioning well. Nobody can function in any way if they don't practice some levels of self care. I rest when I can, I massage myself and use heat on my hands when I've had a particularly long day. Massage has left my hands very sensitive especially to cold, so I own multiple pairs of gloves and almost always have a pair nearby to keep my hands safe and comfortable. I get massages myself when I can (not nearly enough - I know, but who follows their own advice?) and I rely on the amazing chiropractors/Applied Kinesiologists at Integrative Health Care Associates that I work with to keep me running. There is much more self care I should be practicing to make things even better, but for now, I'm hanging in there.

All in all, there is no one answer to "Why my hands don't get tired". (Although, they do - I'm human after all, but I know how to work with and through the fatigue and how to best treat it afterwards.) The only important thing to know about my hands and massage is that as a properly trained professional, my goal is to provide you with the best, most effective massage that I can give you - using whatever "tricks of the trade" I need to make that happen.